Weigh-in and Update

Hello blogosphere! Today was weigh-in day and the results are:
Starting Weight: 240
Weight at Surgery: 234
Current Weight: 221
Weight loss (2 weeks): 2 pounds since my last weigh in and 19 pounds overall!

So let me update you all as to what's gone on my last couple of weeks. First off, I got my second fill 8 days ago and it has made some drastic changes already. I went from 3 ccs to 4.5 ccs. It made a big difference especially for the first few days on the amount I could take in. I went from being able to eat 1.5-2 cups to being able to eat about 1 cup. The first few days after my fill I could only eat between 1/4 and 1/2 a cup but that has changed over the last few days and is back up to around 3/4 to 1 cup depending on what I'm eating. I have a feeling the original awesome restriction I had was more to do with some swelling around the stoma from the tightening of the band just because it wasn't used to the band being so tight and after a few days that went down leaving some extra room.

I know I should have lost way more weight than 19 pounds at this point over a month and a half after surgery. I truly have had a bit of a relapse back into my old ways little by little over the last 2 weeks. I don't mean eating until I literally feel like I could explode like I used to; more like eating the wrong things. For example, I have reverted to some mushies like Chili's cheese fries and the like. I think I truly have experienced a little of the post surgery depression we were warned about because I am a food addict and the band changes how you eat, what you eat, and literally your entire mind-set and way of life. Before surgery, food was my comfort, my reward, what I did when I was bored or sad or even happy. I guess over the last two weeks I've been feeling some of the depression because I don't have the option to use food as my comfort. So this last week I fell off the band wagon a bit and instead of feeling better, I actually felt worse. I thought it would make me feel better to have some mushies and not be so concerned about all the protein and calories and all that... boy was I WRONG. Not only have I felt more tired and sluggish, I've actually not felt the happiness I thought I would from eating whatever I felt like. In addition to not feeling fabulous, I had some serious gas! Overeating (even just a little) and eating the wrong foods causes lots of pressure to build up and let me tell you what: It is SO NOT WORTH IT!!! So I learned a lot about myself this week. The biggest lesson I learned was that I'm a food addict and I have got to work on learning self control and discipline. I also learned I've got to do more for myself. I took a huge step and got a lap band to change my life for my health, so now its time to actually take the steps I need to so that I can make this tool work for me. My lap band doesn't do the calorie and protein counting for me; it can't help me monitor and measure my portions; it can't make me get up and exercise. I on the other hand CAN!

Here's my plan for the next phase of my journey. I've decided to get myself back in check and back to the basics of counting, measuring, and tracking everything!! I will be successful in getting my health back. I also have decided to start bootcamp! I'm going to be doing the beginners bootcamp class at McClure Fitness twice a week. This is a huge step for me. It's also going to be a big test for me. In the past I've been known to join a class or gym or running app or whatever, be really into it for a week or so and then start making all kinds of excuses as to why I can't go. It starts with missing one class and the next time I turn around, I've dropped out completely.... So I'm blogging about this to have some accountability. I also plan to post some "after-workout" pics so you all can be my witnesses to me truly sticking to it. The class doesn't start until November 12th so be looking for my blog posts after that for updates on how its going.

So now back to how the band itself is doing. After this second fill, I've started to understand what lots of banded folks were talking about when they'd describe their band experiences. First off, I read several people who found they were more restricted in the mornings. Well I totally understand what they were talking about. I find that I am much more restricted early in the day versus later. I also can't believe how much I didn't chew my food before being banded. I always just bolted my food down and stuffed myself silly. Now I'm working hard to slow way down and chew until the food is literally like applesauce. I will say, its a new world for me to actually enjoy the food I'm eating. Its a hard lesson to learn and its another of my goals to keep working on in the next few weeks.

That's really all I have for y'all right now. I wish it was me telling you how amazing everything is going and how the weight is just falling off.... But my lessons and struggles just reinforce the fact that a lap band is not a magic bullet and does not do the work for you. The lap band is a tool and a teacher. It requires a lot of work! I love my lap band and I'm ready for it to teach me.

Thanks for reading and being my accountability!